Several weeks ago I wrote about the dreaded question but today’s story is about a defining question.

I’ll take you back to a warm, crisp, blue skies kind of July day: invitations had been sent, flowers were in place, dresses were steamed; make up and hair were done; cameras were ready; guests were beginning to arrive. Months upon months of planning led to this day.

Yes, it was our wedding day: July 24, 2010.

During the Rite of Marriage, Rex and I were questioned to ensure we understood the nature of the Sacrament we about receive, which is crucial to secure the validity of our Sacramental Marriage. Those questions were important, but during his homily, Fr. Peter approached me and asked me a simple, yet defining question, “Rachel, how many children do you want?” By the grace of God, I replied, “However many God blesses us with.”

We had talked about children. Rex was adamant about having a honeymoon baby. I would have preferred to wait a year or two since I was just beginning my first full-time position in ministry and was only 22 at time of our wedding but would be open to whatever God had for us.

Of course I had no idea what the words I spoke to Fr. Peter on my wedding day about children would mean for me today. Tomorrow, we are celebrating our 5 year anniversary, and it can be bittersweet. Another year has gone by and our arms are still empty. Our hearts still yearn to raise children of our own, and still grieve the lives our six precious children, all of whom returned to God before they were born.

I don’t know what the future holds for us but I do know that despite our multiple miscarriages, we will continue to trust in God’s plan for our family. Although, you cannot see the physical fruit of our marriage, I trust that there are spiritual fruits that flow from our marriage.

No matter what your cross is I pray that we all pray as Jesus prayed to God, “Father, if you are willing, take this cup away from me; still, not my will but yours be done.” Luke 22:42

Trust in Him. Let God’s will be done.

Praying for you,

Rachel

“The Lord is my shepherd, there is nothing I shall want” Psalm 23

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