Hello there!

I know it has been a while; a long while. I apologize for my extended absence. I have struggled to write this past year for various reasons, but mostly because I have believed a lie that this blog doesn’t matter. That life is just the same old, same old, and nobody cares. Deep down I know that isn’t entirely true. The more I brought this to prayer, the more God tugged at my heart to continue blogging. So here I am forging forward, even if it is just for one reader.

Lots has happened this past year so be on the look out for throwback posts. Until then, sit back and read on to know the festivities of our eighth wedding anniversary.

If you have been following our journey, you may know the story of Fr. Peter’s homily at our wedding Mass. If not or don’t recall, you can find it here. Anyway, every year our anniversary is bittersweet and this year was no different. A myriad of emotions consume me as our anniversary approaches, comes and goes.

The weekend following our anniversary we had the opportunity to serve at the Steubenville Northwest Conference. We planned to leave for Spokane a couple days early to celebrate together before the conference began. Rex had to work on our actual anniversary and we had planned to keep it simple and just go to dinner, so that left me home majority of the day. We also agreed to meet for daily Mass at noon or so I thought…

I spent the morning crafting my obligatory anniversary Instagram post. Later I arrived at the church a few minutes early but did not see Rex’s car. I thought he was running a few minutes late, which is typical for him. Soon Mass started but there was no Rex. He wasn’t just late; he never showed up.

At the time, to say I was crushed would have been an understatement but remember our anniversary is always a crazy emotional day.

Church we were married in – St. Frances Cabrini

To many this may not have been a big deal but for me, attending daily Mass has healed my grieving heart in ways I cannot fully articulate. It has provided me a deep connection to our children as “heaven kisses earth” at Mass. Particularly when the priest prays the preface during the Eucharistic Prayer by saying, “And so, with the company of Angels and Saints, we sing the hymn of your praise, as without end we acclaim,” and as a church we sing, “Holy, Holy, Holy Lord God of Hosts…”

It is at every Mass that I know we are joining all the angels and saints but in particular, our beloved little ones in singing praise to God. This consoles my heart. I am content with life and called deeper as I long to be with them and God in heaven. So attending Mass together for our anniversary means more to me than any anniversary gift or dinner celebration combined.

All that to say, I knew there must of been a miscommunication because Rex wouldn’t have purposefully missed Mass with me. I was still hurt and I overreacted. I was ready to pull the plug on our dinner and upcoming out-of-town plans without even talking to him. A bit overdramatic and total rookie move but I was overcome by emotions.

After ugly crying all the way home, I came to my senses and talked to him. Of course Rex felt terrible and had not intended to be so hurtful. He was being thoughtful by ensuring things at work were taken care of so he could be present while we were away for a few days.

Realizing how important it was to me for us to go to Mass together, he offered an alternative plan to drive about 30 miles north to the church that we were married in because they have 6pm daily Mass. I thought this was fitting but had no idea that God had planned something incredibly beautiful for us.

After Mass, we greeted the pastor Fr. Paul Brunet and shared with him that it was our anniversary. He said he had something for us and told us to wait as he went to the rectory to grab it. As we waited, we sat in front of a Mary statue and prayed. This very spot is where we had our first look.

Fr. Brunet returns a few minutes later giving us a picture with a prayer to St. Sharbel and a small vile of oil. Our anniversary is on the feast day of this saint. He died in 1898 and his body is incorruptible. His tomb has been secreting oil. Many healing miracles have been attributed to the intercession of St. Sharbel.

What a gift! I was completely blown away by God’s goodness. By His Divine Providence, we made it to the Mass we were meant to be at. If we would have we gone earlier like I wanted, then we wouldn’t have seen Fr. Brunet or received such a remarkable gift.

This is just one small example that God’s plan is far greater than anything we can even imagine. God spoke to me loud and clear, “Rachel, I got you. Trust in me.”

I don’t know about you, but for me, I don’t always hear God or feel like He is near, especially these past few years of immense grief. Despite that I know just because I don’t feel God, that doesn’t mean He isn’t near. My faith will not be shaken.

God has an incredible plan for our family. I don’t know exactly what all that entails, but I trust it is much greater than my aching heart can imagine. This is true for your life and family too. Trust in that.

God’s Providence is supreme and the very next day is another blatant testament to that but I’ll save that for my next post.

St. Sharbel, pray for us.

Praying for you,

Rachel

*In case you’re wondering, we did end up going to dinner, just a little later than we had planned, but we had a lovely evening together. The food was delicious. We took time reflecting and discussed highlights and lowlights of our past year. We also tried to recall how we celebrated all of our anniversaries but can’t remember our second, that was pre-Instagram days.

“And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” Matthew 28:20